A Boy Brushed Red

It’s beautiful when you find someone that is in love with your mind. Someone that wants to undress your conscience and make love to your thoughts. Someone that wants to watch you slowly take down all the walls you’ve built up around your mind and let them inside.

Maybe we're all still waiting for our Prince. The one who will fall down on bended knee, bowing his head in reverence, just at the very sight of our grace and beauty. His eyes will have known only innocence, and his mind will be an endless canvas of truth and purity. Before you mock this child-like vision of love, ponder with me for a moment. Weren't we made for love? True love? Untainted, pure, sacrificial, endless, sanctified, holy love? It's no wonder this desire lives within the heart of every woman. We were made to love, and to be loved. To be cherished, protected, reverenced, and loved. The fact that every girl wants this kind of love doesn't make her naive or foolish, no, indeed. It reassures her that she was made for a purpose: LOVE. To be loved by her Creator, and for her to love Him in return. The issue that abounds is where this desire for love takes us women. Maybe we're searching in all the wrong places for the fulfillment that we so desperately need. I know I've firsthand found loves finest counterfeit. It glistens, telling you what you want to hear, and promising you things it can never keep. But maybe we've already been found. Maybe we're already home. Maybe the Love we would die to have, has already died to save us. Redirect, refocus. So many girls want a man who would die for them, yet they overlook the one Man who has already died for them. His love has been proven; tried and true. Maybe love is all a hoax, but maybe it's everything we need.
Maybe He's everything we need.

He's all I need.


[this is not about what you've done,
but what's been done for you.
this is not about where you've been,
but where your brokenness brings you to]

Stitches

You cannot love someone entirely, without knowing all their faults. True love will encompass all weaknesses, all struggling, all offenses, and all judgement. I love you for you. For who you are, for who you've been, and for who you'll be. When someone fills up all the little holes in your life- fills you up so much that you burst over with laughter- that, that is something to be treasured. If you've found someone who you can be yourself with: your true, ugly, horrible, crazy, mistaken, beautiful, opinionated self, then hold on to that person. Care for that person. Love that person. Never give up on each other. When you feel like treating each other indifferently, purposefully send a smile their way instead. Don't just tell them you care, show them you care. Don't let something so rare rot away because of past mistakes. LOVE. And then love some more. And when you're done loving, LOVE EVEN MORE. Even if you're hurt, know that pain makes you stronger. It makes you bolder. It shows you who you are. Love through the affliction. Forgiveness will bind your wounds.

Il Mio Cuore Va

When darkness prevails, should not we still have a reason to carry on? Likewise, when turmoil surrounds us, and our very hearts grow weak with burden, should not we still know why we journey on? If you are unaware of your reasoning for carrying on this life, how can you traverse to your fullest? You will merely be grasping at thin shreds of life, hoping it will fulfill your void. Why live, if you do not know why you live. Why forgive, if you cannot see the purpose behind it. [Rhetorical questions, at best- reflect on where it takes you] I live because I have a purpose. I know my body was not formed around my soul in vain. My loins were constructed, with my skin being wrought around my bones for an intent. That is why when pain confines me, and I contemplate the comforts of giving up, I ultimately realize the dangers of doing so. If I give up the affliction and misery I face in this life, then how can I truly enjoy the wonderful things this world brings my way? If I have not tasted discomfort, then how can I appreciate joy.. warmth, trust, and love? Cliche or not, everything is brought about for a reason. My God does not work in vain. Number two brings me to a matter close to heart: forgiveness. I forgive because I have been forgiven. Sin in a sin, none is worse than the other in the eyes of my Creator. I have been as guilty as you. I have cheated, lied, blasphemed, betrayed, lusted- the list is endless. Yet, with everything I've done and continue to do, my Savior still forgives me. Time after time, his mercy meets me right where I am; on the ground. His love picks me up, whispering, "let's give this one more try--together." His love keeps no record of my wrongs [1 Cor. 13:5] and, because I have been shown this grace and mercy, I can extend it to those who have knowingly and unknowingly hurt me. Forgiveness is the one virtue I struggle with the most. My nature is to feel that if I forgive, I will be taken advantage of, wronged and hurt over and over. Maybe this nature is in all of us, which is why Jesus tells us to be ready to forgive more than seven times, even up to seventy-seven times [Matt 18:22]. Jesus forgave us for a reason, and the forgiveness isn't supposed to stop there. One of the many ways we show Christ's love to each other is through our forgiveness. So, even though I may be hurt, broken, even doubting if I can trust again, I will still forgive. It's what my Lord calls me to do. Any time a negative though congregates within my skull, I push it away, praying the Lord will continue to help me forgive. It's a daily, even minute-by-minute decision and action. But I know the struggle is worthwhile. So, I forgive.

I forgive you.

[my sin
oh, the bliss of that glorious thought
my sin, not in part, but the whole
was nailed to the cross
and I bear it no more
praise the Lord, praise the Lord
oh my soul]

I apologize for the sentence structure, spacing, lack of indentations, paragraphs, etc.. If you want to see those attributes, then go read a published book.

HappyPanda: Part II

hey :) this is my best friend :) he's also my fantastic, ginger of a boyfriend :) and I love him :) :) smileysmileysmiley

Anorexia Nervosa

I am finally starting to understand my heart. Partially, at best, but the revelations are soothing. It's just a small dent in the surface of everything that antagonizes, separates, breaks, and destructs the formation of all my mental objects and the state of my affections. Every discovery- every unmasked attempt to expose what makes me tick, is filled with pain. I'm starting to learn the value of it all, though. Pain has a purpose, and pain has worth.

more to come. I'm so tired.

[I'm prone to wander, Jesus.. and You're prone to always come after me. thank You.]

HappyPanda

it's gonna be a good life(:

These Days

I know I'm good for something, I just haven't found it yet.. but I need it.