go ahead and make your vows; scratched out words & blurry lines match your attempts at self-denial. you're no better than the rest. & while you hide your shame behind the distant second chance, pray tomorrow comes.. this time you will outlast the three days..... & after 6hrs of writing your heart out, face it.. what is it worth? for all it matters, nothing of this kind does. so turn around & face the world, you're gonna fall, so why waste life pretending you can be perfect? acceptance of this is the closest you will come. 12:01am. why believe in it? what's another 24hrs of winter spent with your vile attempts. bruising. lacerating. diminishing. shattering. stop the slavery; the miserable toil. the moments find you moving backwards, waiting for nothing more than the curtains to drop around your unpure sacrifice. & if my heart stops beating before I learn this, promise me you'll pack my memories in it & keep it safe- I want to know all the love I've got. for what's your purpose, if not to find love? why are you struggling? why are you trying to prove that you can be more than what you are? it's found not in the labor. not in the fruitless attempts. nor in the shedding of guilty tears, but in the sound of forgiveness. in the presence of acceptance. in the flow of His blood. [[and if we get beaten by this winter, if we get strangled by regret, just let our love of life and tension gasp in sweet and stuttered breaths, and
have them lay us in a basement, smash some bottles on the ground, and say we never knew the difference between the feeling and the sound]] may we be ever grateful that, in our sinful prayers, He perfects every word. He knows your needs. He knows your faults. & He loves you. why are you still searching? ...let Him be enough.
He is so much more than enough <3
